In the midst of sophomore year, you come to that dreadful realization that you must begin preparing for the SAT or the ACT. The weight of standardized testing latches onto you the moment you type “College Board” into the Google search box. The College Board is the king of America’s college admissions process; it created the SAT tests, AP exams, and the CSS Profile. But it also manufactures stress and fear among students across America. The College Board watches you. Instead of going out with friends or watching just one more episode of a show on Netflix, that pile of SAT books glares at you from the corner of the room.

I relate this in an ominous tone, but it accurately reflects how I feel about standardized testing and the College Board. It is scary—yet another weight that students must bear amongst the multitude of qualifications that colleges desire. Standardized testing is not something you can tackle in a high school class; you must seek out and implement your own way of studying, in addition to balancing extracurricular activities and challenging classes. I concede that many countries, such as India and Japan, tend to administer huge exams as the sole factor in their college admissions process. It is a blessing that American colleges have a holistic approach that often involves personal statement essays to gain a sense of whether students are the right fit for their college. However, over the years, students seem to be increasingly competitive and stressed out about standardized testing.

Families often pour large sums of money into the College Board. It is expensive:  the SAT test is $54 with the essay portion, reporting SAT scores to colleges are $11.25 after you report four scores, AP tests are $100, and the CSS Profile is $25 for the first college entered, and $16 for the rest. Students tend to take multiple tests, so the financial burden piles on. It is true that the people grading tests and working for the College Board need salaries, but it becomes discouraging how much students must spend to be seemingly successful. According to the Fiscal Times, students whose “family incomes [are] less than $20,000” tend to score lower than wealthier families who make “over $200,000.” It creates an unfair discrepancy, as students of prosperous families may have access to effective classes and latest editions of practice books that other students may not afford.

In addition, the CSS Profile confuses me. It helps colleges give accurate financial aid, based on the family income details of applicants. It is a financial aid service, yet students must pay to fill out a long, exasperating application. My father and I finished filling out the CSS Profile thirty minutes past midnight on a Sunday night in January. I breathed a sigh of relief and murmured, “I dislike the College Board. Thank goodness I am forever done with it.” Before we logged off of the website, my father jokingly replied, “Samia, be careful what you say. They could be watching you.” I laughed and shuddered at the thought of this.

The College Board—the monopoly stake holder in undergraduate education—traps students with a constant stress, a constant worry. However, you are not a number. You are not an automaton who assembles a sense of desirability in order to be chosen by colleges. You are a human being with your own nuances, natural weaknesses, strengths, and passions. Someday soon, you will overcome this hurdle, find your place after high school, and the weight on your shoulders will vanish.

But, never forget: the College Board is watching you.