Do you see how I started my article? Very demure. Very mindful.
If this phrasing sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Within the latter half of the year, the term “demure” has popped up more frequently both on social media and in everyday conversations. But why?
“Demure” cannot be classified as slang or a new word–it’s been around for centuries. First used in the 1300s, it was derived from a French word meaning grave or serious. Vocabulary.com states that demure “used to be a huge compliment for a woman or a girl,” although it fell out of its common usage in recent years.
“Demure” has made an unexpected comeback — its recently attained popularity can be traced back to a TikTok video. In the video, words such as “demure” and “mindful” are used to describe content creator Jool Lebron’s makeup as they head to work. Within days, the TikTok accumulated millions of views. The sound was reused or parodied in thousands of videos.
As per Merriam-Webster dictionary, demure is defined as “affectedly modest, reserved, or serious.” Thus, to describe one’s behavior as “demure,” adds to the ongoing trends of the coquette aesthetic and Charli XCX’s “bratcore.” The reintroduction of girlcore fashion and behavior highlights the modesty chased in these trends, emphasizing the key point of not overdoing it. In these videos across social media, demure is often described as a quality that’s almost effortless, a blend of elegance and simplicity, CBS 42 reports: “Demure saw a 1,200% increase in usage across digital web media between January and August alone.” Lebron’s TikTok, which was uploaded in August, sparked a new craving for respectful behavior and modest appearance in public settings.
Though the original TikTok targeted impressionable attitudes in the workplace — more applicable to an adult audience — its impact has extended across all generations. The audio was used by many renowned teens to grandparents, and even pet influencers. A look into my personal workplace, where adolescent students often utilize slang in their everyday conversations, can exemplify the popularity of “demure.”
However, it’s worth questioning whether the expectations set by the concept of acting demure are unrealistic and in itself, not demure. Being demure, in theory, is the natural behavior that radiates sophistication. Yet, as the trend spreads, many are going out of their way, even changing their habits to hop onto the bandwagon.
As Wilcox senior Jasmin Chan points out, “demure” is rarely used in day-to-day conversations unironically. Most usages of the word are often in reference to the original TikTok video by mimicking Lebron’s wording.
Chan adds that the strained effort to use “demure” in conversations demonstrates the younger generations’ expansion of vocabulary that is derived solely from social media. Though coined Word of the Year by Dictionary.com, perhaps demure reveals more than merely the modest, sophisticated, and queen-like behavior many admire; perhaps it, at its core, serves to expose the reliance on social media for an enhanced lifestyle and vocabulary — not so modest.
