Cheddar Cheese Cheat:
A heist worth almost $400,000, a high-end product, and an award-winning hostage. This certainly sounds like a recipe for disaster– but would you expect it to be a cheese caper? A 63-year-old man posed as a distributor of French dairy to obtain British artisanal cheese from Neal’s Yard Dairy. The cheese was procured from across the country and was composed of 950 wheels of a startling variety: from an earthy Hafod to a tangy Westcombe, and even a nutty Pitchfork. The Hafod Welsh cheddar cheesemonger suspected the wheels were being sold in Austria or the Middle East– away from more of the flourishing artisanal community. Jamie Oliver, a celebrity chef from the United Kingdom, warned his Instagram followers that “if the deal seems too good to be true, it probably is!”
Titillating Tillbud:
Donald Trump’s recent geographical ambitions– suggesting that Canada become a 51st state, hinting at occupying Gaza, eying up the Panama Canal– have certainly caused a stir on the world stage, but his intentions to purchase Greenland for raw materials had Denmark replying in kind. A petition to buy California and make it a part of Denmark has received hundreds of thousands of signatures, under the slogan Måke Califørnia Great Ægain. The petition was founded on the knowledge of recent tensions between President Trump and California’s governor, Gavin Newsome, after the latter allocated 50 million dollars to fight the Trump administration. While the petition is mainly satirical, Trump’s offer and other intentions seem to be the opposite after a Republican representative proposed Greenland be renamed Red, White, and Blueland after the implied purchase.
Golden Guts:
Isabella Ma believes that she has discovered the secret to a healthy life: golden jello. By putting oxtail in water, pressure cooking it, then letting it sit in the fridge, the pianist and influencer creates her gelatinous “potion of health.” The remainder of her diet consists of hamburgers, sticks of butter, and ground beef. Steak and Butter Gal (Ma’s Instagram username) claimed that the switch from a vegan to carnivore diet was a game changer. Not only did she lose weight, but her dermatological problems like psoriasis and eczema disappeared, along with her brain fog and PMS. Despite avoiding fruits and vegetables (essential sources of fiber and other nutrients) like the plague, Ma also claims that she never suffers from constipation. Is the carnivore diet a cholesterol catastrophe or the secret to fitness?
