Rants:

Alternative Facts: Numbers do not lie and I am looking at you, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. It is okay to say that President Trump’s inauguration had lower attendance than previous years—what is wrong with that? What is upsetting is that the White House blatantly lied to protect President Trump’s pride. The inauguration attendance is not an important issue, but it is unsettling to say the least. However, I wish someone told me that alternative facts were acceptable—I would have used them on my college applications.

Social Experiments: First, the majority of these videos are staged with paid actors. In the rare case that a video is not staged, the ridiculousness of the video’s objective removes the message that a YouTuber intended to convey. If the point of a video is to challenge random people on the street to a fight, do not be surprised if you get socked in the jaw. Selling a gun to random people, or “robbing” someone at an ATM is not a good idea, and definitely does not display any sort of insightful commentary on today’s society.

NBA Defense: Scoring fifty points in a basketball game is unheard of. While we are nearing halfway through the NBA season, we have already witnessed eight of these performances. In the entire 2010-2011 season, there were only two such games. There can only be one reason for this sudden boom in high scoring individual performances: poor defense. NBA defenses must improve if we are going to attach merit to a major point game.

Rude customers: When a fast food employee messes up your order, screaming at the worker does not solve anything, requires a lack of decency, and makes you look bad. It is just a burger and this is just McDonalds. If you wanted top-notch, high quality service and food worthy of a Michelin star, please go to a fancy restaurant. Yelling at a poor employee does nothing to your benefit. This will probably make that worker more apathetic to your inconveniences. Stop yelling at workers, please, as you are only solidifying yourself as an employee-inside joke by doing so.

Raves:

Joe Biden: Through his fun obsessions with ice cream, vintage cars, and aviator sunglasses, former VP Joe Biden is the United States of America in a nutshell. He proved to be incredibly resilient in the face of adversity where the former vice president displayed character, strength, and courage with his continued work in public service, despite the tragic loss of his wife and daughter in 1972. As his son Beau Biden died in 2016 after a two year fight with brain cancer, he continued his responsibilties. Biden’s toughness encompasses what America is truly made of.

The Internet: The beauty of the internet lies in the fact that, at the press of a button right at our fingertips, we can unlock all information known to mankind. Surprisingly enough, we spend so much time glorifying Harambe and drooling over someone sprinkling salt on slices of meat. Nonetheless, it is home to creative milestones like “The entire bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster” and has iconic personalities like Kermit the Frog accurately representing how we feel. We can all agree that the internet has contributed a great deal to modern society and our current culture.

Ankle Socks: Ankle socks are back on the rise, whether you like it or not! Putting on ankle socks for the first time since sixth grade was a life-changing experience for me. The liberating rush you feel when realizing that there is nothing constricting your lower shin is a sensation that goes unmatched by any other means of touch. It is time to stop hiding that egregious Nike sock tan. Show it off! Put your best foot forward and your best socks on. Half-length socks, watch out! The ankle socks are making a comeback.

Vine: Vine officially left the internet on January 17, 2017, bringing memories, laughs, and tears along with it. Providing comics with business opportunities, and redefining humor with its potent inspiration, who knew six seconds of video recording could bring so much happiness? Thank you for everything, Vine.