April’s Strange But True

Clarissa Guglielmelli, Sports Editor

The Clackamas County Cab Crime
Having car trouble on the day of a big crime? Lack of transportation did not stop this Oregon man from robbing a bank when his car broke down. What did he do? He called an Uber. Forty-Year-Old Deante Von Gibson faced a federal charge of bank robbery after allegedly calling an Uber to transport him to and from the crime scene on September 27 last year. According to the driver, Gibson claimed that he and a friend won the lottery in Japan, and after running a few errands, Gibson stopped the driver and ran inside the Umpqua Bank. After allegedly demanding $100,000 from the two bank tellers, Gibson left the scene with a blue duffle bag concealing $3,300. Gibson was then arrested in April by authorities. One could have asked him: Do you even Lyft bro?

The Tragedy of Taco Tuesdays
On January 21, 2018, residents of Montgomery, Alabama held what was nacho ordinary vigil. After their beloved local Taco Bell caught on fire, churchgoers held a candle-lit vigil to honor the beloved burritos, notorious nachos, and the treasured tacos that did not escape from the flaming, fast food structure. While luckily no human was physically injured, the residents lost wraps and meals that just could not be replaced by the Taco Bell across the street. According to Mashable, fast food fanatics Russel Dowis and Katie James created a Facebook event to mourn the loss of the beloved Taco Bell. The page states, “May we never forget the okay customer service and long wait line for the oh so delightful baja blasts and 5 dollar quesadilla box. Bring your own candles. We are broke.”

You Shall Not Pass
An Australian self-proclaimed biohacker has lost his transit pass too many times. His solution? He cut the chip out of the card, encased it in a biocompatible material, and inserted the chip just under the skin in his left hand. While the pass worked for almost six months, the man was fined by transit officers for not having a valid ticket, despite still having a few rides worth left in the card. However, the craziest thing about this story is not the fact that the man’s cyborg experiment worked for half a year—The man’s legal name is Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow Meow.

Dead Man Walking?
It’s not everyday you find yourself speaking to a dead man (unless, of course, you are in the movie Sixth Sense). In January, after being deported back to his home country Romania for expired papers, sixty-three-year-old Constantin Reliu returned to find that he had been declared dead for almost twenty years. According to NBC News, Reliu went to work as a cook to Turkey in 1992. Shortly after Reliu moved, his wife declared him dead. However, it was not until he was moved back to Romania in 2018 that Relieu was informed that he was legally dead. Relieu was shocked, and filed to the local court to overturn his death. However, this request was denied, and Reliu continues to embody the living dead.